Congratulations to S.L. Jennings for signing with HarperCollins! Check out Taint’s makeover and one click! LOVE IT!!!
Right now, you’re probably asking yourself two things:
Who am I?
And, what the hell are you doing here?
Let’s start with the most obvious question, shall we?
You’re here, ladies, because you can’t f*ck.
Oh, stop it. Don’t cringe. No one under the age of 80 clutches their pearls.
You might as well get used to it, because for the next six weeks, you’re going to hear that word a lot. And you’re going to say it a lot.
Go ahead, try it out on your tongue.
Ok, good. Now where were we?
If you enrolled yourself in this program then you are wholly aware that you’re a lousy lay. Good for you. Admitting it is half the battle.
For those of you that have been sent here by your husband or significant other, dry your tears and get over it. You’ve been given a gift, ladies. The gift of mind-blowing, wall-climbing, multiple-orgasm-inducing sex. You have the opportunity to f*ck like a porn star. And I guarantee, you will when I’m done with you.
And who am I?
Well, for the next six weeks, I will be your lover, your teacher, your best friend, and your worst enemy. Your every-f*cking-thing. I’m the one who is going to save your relationship and your sex life.
I am Justice Drake.
And I turn housewives into whores.
It’s possible to have an affair with a fictional character. I should know—I’m having one. With Justice Fuckin Drake. Yes, you heard me. Every night when I close my eyes, he’s there. In my dreams. And I don’t wanna wake up. EVER.
I can’t function. I can’t focus. I CAN’T STOP thinking about him. I’m obsessed. I could NOT WAIT to get my hands on Justice Drake… I mean TAINT. And let me tell you, S.L. Jennings ROCKED it!!! I love all her books, so I knew I’d love TAINT. But I didn’t just love TAINT, I moved it up in my top 5.
So where should I begin… Justice Drake—sex teacher to the wealthy housewives who can’t satisfy their husbands. They travel to Oasis, his training location, and learn the art of seduction, satisfaction and sex. How to become the one their husbands crave, desire, fall to their knees for. He makes a killing in transforming “housewives to whores”—and let me say, he is extremely successful. If he’s giving private lessons, SIGN ME UP!!!
So all these hoity toity’s come to learn. To figure out how to make themselves more desirable.
“You’re here because you know you’re about to lose the one thing you’re worked your pretty little ass off for—your man. You love the lifestyle you live, and instead of licking your wounds and moving on, you’d rather fix your broken marriage. And I’m here to help you.”
“I’m going to teach you how to fuck your husband.”
WHAT?!! Not for nothing, if I’m gonna learn anything from Justice Drake, I want to learn how to seduce HIM. But… back to my review. I can’t help it, he just sidetracks me.
One of the housewives is Allison Elliot-Carr, or Ally as she likes to be called. She is “Hollywood beautiful”, smart, and married to a douchebag, Evan Carr, who can’t seem to keep it in his pants. If she only knew what a dickhead he is, maybe she wouldn’t have even bothered to go. But here she is and JESUS—I would give anything to be her. In Justice’s own words, “I’m so screwed.” He is attracted to her, can’t stop thinking about her, wants her. The heat between them is like a freakin volcanic eruption.
They start to spend time together sharing ice cream, watching “Friends” episodes, and just hanging out. There’s some “private” training going on as well. Justice has “Lingerie Day” and gives the ladies some tips on the art of seduction. Ally walks into the room and Justice is powerless over the watering of his mouth.
“Take off your robe…please.”
And so she does. What he does to her after… OH MY GAWD!!!
“I slowly run my thumb along her mouth, coaxing out that tormenting lip. Ally releases it, and with it still glossy and glistening, my thumb trails her mouth once more.”
YES JUSTICE… rub my lip, do whatever the hell you want to me. I’m yours.
Poor Ally. She really got a shitty deal having to marry that jerkoff. He is a piece of shit.
“We’re all just trophies. Shiny, plastic, useless trophies. Exciting at first, but we have no real purpose other than attesting to someone else’s grand achievements.”
I hate to admit it since I’m kinda jealous of her, but she is really a kickass character. She threw away her dreams, her goals all for Mr. Asswipe. Mr. CheatyMcCheatpants. She deserves so much better.
The flirting, banter, games… they are PERFECT together. He’s “her lobster”. They FINALLY get it together—one thing leads to another and BAM… they go at it. AND HOLY FUCK. I came. I swear, ORGASMIC.
“I need to be inside of you… Right now, baby. I need to fill you right now.”
“Slow, baby. Look at me while I fill you one inch at a time.”
OMG. OMG. OMG.
Never have I ever just wanted to just HOLY SHIT jump right in. Yes, Justice. Anything for you Justice. You OWN ME!!!
So yeah, TAINT has EVERYTHING you want in a book. The heat factor, the angst, the attraction, and no, it’s not all just sex. You feel for these characters, get attached to them. This is, by far, the HOTTEST book I’ve read this year. You will not be disappointed. I FLUCKIN loved TAINT!!! In fact, I’m off to do a reread!!! Enjoy ladies!!!
About S.L. Jennings
Some of S.L.’s devious lies:
FEAR OF FALLING
THE DARK LIGHT SERIES
• Dark Light
• The Dark Prince
• Nikolai (a Dark Light novella)
• Light Shadows- coming in 2014