There was no bright light in my death, but perhaps that is because I wasn’t destined for the angelic beauty of heaven. No, my short lived life had been played out with so much sin and excess that there would no doubt be a special cage in hell with my name on it. In my death, I felt and saw nothing. No warmth, no cold, no light, no darkness, just nothing. When I woke, he was gone, the only piece of perfection in my ugly world. Part of me was grateful that he had finally found the good sense to leave. Another part of me was broken, irrevocably and agonizingly broken.
Reader Warning – This book is intended for mature audiences. It contains language which some may find offensive, sexual content and drug use. There is also a sexual scene of questionable consent which some readers may find difficult to read.
My heart hurt.
My head pounded.
I was a blubbering mess.
This is a story of addiction, the power drugs have over you and the desperate struggle to not let them win.
Best friends since high school, Violet and Cain have been together through thick and thin. He plays piano and she sings, and they make beautiful music together. Through it all, he as stuck by her side and many years later, they still perform together.
Violet was born into a life that knew addiction. It surrounded her. Owned her. She watched as both her parents lived a life full of drugs and poor decisions. Feeling no self worth and lots of self loathing, Violet follows their lead and gets caught up in her own addiction to desperately escape the pain of living. Cain is her rock and sadly knows that she is an addict. He remains by her side, trying desperately to keep her from drowning. He truly loves her.
“This is meant to be, baby, you and me. You gotta stop fighting it. Please just let me love you the way you were meant to be loved.”
But Cain’s love wasn’t enough. One very sad day, Violet sinks. She is at the bottom of the barrel. She expects him to be at her side to help her out of her dark hole. He’s always there. Only this time he’s not. Violet is a mess. She doesn’t know if she’ll be able to move forward without him, but she makes a choice. She will fight. She will change. She will, for once in her life, be a new, better version of her former self. Her only hope is that Cain will return to her.
“Sometimes you have to fall so you can learn to stand back up. Falling is hard though; it’s scary and it’s painful. Standing back up is somehow worse.”
I was so emotional while reading this book. Watching Violet self-destruct was so difficult and painful. I wanted to shake her and take the drugs away from her myself. Whether you know someone who has been addicted, or have been through it yourself, you know that it is a battle that is not easy to win. There is a constant struggle, a war within yourself and you have to fight with everything you have to get to the other side. Some of the very fortunate win the battle. Others don’t and it’s absolutely heartbreaking to witness.
This story is painful. It will break your heart into so many pieces. But you cheer and you route for Violet to come out a winner. Kirsty Dallas wrote a story that will rip your heart open. It is not a sappy love story. It is a story of pain, hope and courage. One that I won’t forget.
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About Kirsty Dallas
I grew up on the beaches of North Queensland, Australia before migrating south to the iconic Gold Coast in 1995. I traded the surf and my bikini for pajama’s and a computer when I embarked on writing professionally in 2012.
I write first and foremost for myself. I write characters and ideas that come from my heart, then take shape and evolve into entire landscapes in my mind.
I am fascinated with most creative outlets — photography, art, music, you name it, I love it. I don’t take life too seriously and I love to hear from fans and other like-minded, creative people. So drop me a line or come hang out on Facey or over at the Twitter-verse!
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