Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O.
Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Each moan, spank, and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O.
Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick…
In her third novel, Alice Clayton returns to dish her trademark mix of silly and steamy. Banter, barbs, and strutting pussycats, plus the sexiest apple pie ever made, are dunked in a hot tub and set against the gorgeous San Francisco skyline in this hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight.
Oh, Simon, that’s so good! SPANK SPANK!! Oh God, Simon. Yes. I’ve been a bad girl. Yes, Yes!!
Oh God. OOOh Yes, just like that, Simon…Mmmmmmm, meow, meow, meow!!!
And this my friends is Wallbanger. HOLLA!!!!
I swear I never laughed so hard reading a book in my life. This book was recommended to me by many of my friends, so I could not pass up this read. I was told it was hot, and funny as hell.
Well it was all those things and then some. And its not just the idea of this drop dead gorgeous neighbor who bangs the snot out of numerous woman and makes them meow, and spanks them, and as a result pictures are falling off the walls. Nope not those things. It’s actually the writing. Alice Clayton is freaking hysterical.
We learn in the first couple of pages that Caroline, who just moved into her new apartment, has some serious stuff going on in her life. She lost her damn “O”. Yep you heard me right. A terrible one night stand has robbed Caroline of her “O”; it’s on an vacation. Like a 6 months vacation. Damn girl.
“The beginnings of carpal tunnel were threatening to set in as I tried desperately to get myself off. But O was on seemingly permanent hiatus. “
Laughing my ass off!! Carpal tunnel??? Really?? Love it!!! Best part of it all, Caroline actually talks to her O. Even better. If my O decided to hide on me for 6 months, I’d be furious too!!!! and yes she talks to “Lower Caroline”. Come on, you can’t make this stuff up!!!
But thankfully Caroline isn’t totally alone in this. She has some great friends, Jillian, Mimi and Sophia that she can relate to. And thankfully woman’s best friend, Clive. Yes Clive is her cat. And this cat is out of hand….He totally knows what’s going on…Crazy Wallbanging and Caroline and her incessant need to bake.
Well the time to meet the Wallbanger has come. So, yeah Mr. Wallbanger is banging the heck out of this chick, making noise, spanking away. And Caroline is DONE, can’t sleep. Clive is horny as hell and needs to lay off the cat nip!!! That’s it, she’s knocking on his door and she’s gonna tell him. “Yeah you, stop banging my walls.” Yeah have fun with that one. Because when Wallbanger opens the door wrapped in a sheet, and a hard on….HOLLA!!! He’s…..he’s…….OMG……he’s Hard……….and HOT!!!! Oh God, she is still in her pink nightie!! Awkward!!!! Oh yeah, we can now call Wallbanger Simon Parker, Director of the International House of Orgasms. (Can I eat there???) Best part, Walbanger has his own name for Caroline amongst his friends, Pink Nightie Girl!!
Wet dreams, screaming wet dreams, horny cats…It’s all too much!!!
So after figuring out they both have mutual friends, Simon and Caroline decide to call a truce and become friends. They really have no choice, they live right next door to eachother. And the amount of flirting, and sexual tension is out of hand. And baking. Yes they bake! It’s so hot!! Never thought baking an apple pie and some pie crust would turn me on!!
“I never joke about pie, Simon.
So, what are you gonna do with that?
I’m gonna roll this crust out. See, like this? I teased again, thrusting the pin back and forth over the dough, making sure I arched my back each time and the forward action pushed my girls together.
You gonna be okay over there, big guy? This is just the top crust, I still need to work on the bottom.”
What’s great about this story, is that it really takes you through so many different emotions. First I am laughing, and then I am hot for their sexual tension, and then I am drawn into their amazing connection. And there is so much more to Simon then his Wallbanging. He’s a very talented photographer and travels the world. Caroline’s design career is taking off. And now they have this friendship. Friends that laugh, and cook and meatball, and nook! I love it!! And Simon, he gives good meatball!!
These characters are well developed and I love when I can read a book and not even half way into the story, I am already invested in these two. They spend a long weekend with friends at the Lake and that’s where shit goes down. For me, this is where the story takes a whole different turn. Now I go from all laughing, to heart breaking, chest tightening. What the hell just happened?? What happened to horny cats and crazy bitches meowing??? Since when did shit get real?? Oh it gets real all right…
At this point I am so knee deep into this story I never wanted it to end. Its just one of the most entertaining, original and fun loving books I have read in a while. This is one of those books you come back to and re read. The unforgettable ones.
Simon and Caroline go through some good and bad, some hurt and some love. But most of all, its just delicious to read.
“God, Simon, I give. Just fuck me.
Apple pie for me?
Yes, Yes!! Apple Pie for you! Oh, God…
That’s right, apple pie for me apple pie for – God you’re so tight this way.”
AWWWW!!!! that’s my Wallbanger…
And those are just the fun parts. To get the real meatball of this story, your going to just have to read this to understand why eating Apple Pie and Zucchini bread will always be my favorites now.
About the Author
Alice Clayton is a novelist with an unholy love for her KitchenAid mixer. Making her home in St Louis, she enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up afterwards, and is trying desperately to get her long time boyfriend to make her an honest woman. Hi sweetie!!
After working for years in the cosmetics industry as a makeup artist, esthetician, and national educator for a major cosmetics company, Alice picked up a pen (read laptop) for the first time at 33 to begin a new career, writer. Combining her love of storytelling with a sense of silly, she was shocked and awed to be nominated for a Goodreads Author award in 2010 for her debut novels, The Redhead Series.
Alice has penned three novels, The Unidentified Redhead,The Redhead Revealed, and coming soon in November 2012, Wallbanger. She thinks you should purchase them immediately. She’s not kidding, not even a little bit. Everyone needs some comedic erotica in their lives. She is hard at work on the third book in The Redhead Series, set to release in Spring of 2013, continuing the saucy and sexual escapades of everyone’s favorite couple, Jack and Grace.
Additionally, Alice loves spending time with her besties on Not Your Mother’s Podcast, make sure you check them out at notyourmotherspodcast.com or over on iTunes. 3 women rushing towards their forties still acting like teenagers. A saucy little mix of sex, love, relationships, pop cultural, celebrity gossip and All Things Jake Ryan.
Alice enjoys pickles, Bloody Mary’s, 8 hours of sleep, and a good pounding.
Finally Alice would also like all her readers and listeners to help her convince Mt. Alice that the only other thing that would make her truly happy is finally bringing home a Bernese Mountain Dog. She is totally serious. And done talking about herself in the third person