I thought I would take a few moments and talk about why this blog went from a maybe, to a HECK YEAH! I also want to give you insight as to why this genre of books is what I choose to read, and how they have helped me be a better wife and mother.
We were like most young couples before the spawn were born, we had a great relationship. My husband and I had fun, laughed a lot, and were adventurous in our relationship. Often sneaking around just to get a few extra minutes alone together, or finding small ways just to be touching. Our friends would laugh and joke about how “all over each other” we were.
Once we had kids though, I changed! My oldest spawn is 10, when he was born I felt like a switch got flipped, I believed I wasn’t allowed to do things anymore because I was now a mother. I was so focused on being the perfect mother that I forgot I was a wife and a woman also. I retreated into my belief that no mommy would enjoy sex and intimacy, and my marriage suffered. We fought constantly, and we couldn’t find ways to connect. Since he was in the military, we had the added stress of him deploying all the time. I hate even saying this but there were times I use to hope he was leaving. When he was gone we didn’t fight and we seemed to love each other more because we missed each other. I also didn’t have one more person demanding my time, and energy. I know that sounds so awful and selfish, but I think women give all they have to others and leave nothing for themselves. How many times have you given up something you wanted for your husband or kids? How many times do we “do it” just to satisfy them so we don’t have to hear it anymore? Wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t feel that way anymore??
When he left for our longest separation to Cuba for 16 months, a friend told me about Twilight by Stephanie Meyer . The first movie had just been released and she swore that the books were amazing, so I figured why not! I picked up the first book and was instantly immersed into Bella and Edward, I saw my husband and myself through their story. We married very young, had children almost immediately, and it seemed like fate kept finding ways to keep us apart. I devoured these books in days! I don’t think I slept at all. Between my sister and I, we have probably read the series over 20 times. Twilight was my catalyst back into my very deep love of reading romance.
Of course, deployment number 6 came and I was desperate for the escape from my reality. ENTER: Fifty Shades of Grey! All I can say is I am beyond happy that I started reading this series right as he was returning!!! I couldn’t put them down, I missed school, SLEEP, appointments, SLEEP, eating, SLEEP. I felt like a woman again, not a frumpy mother of two who hadn’t had affection for over 5 months. It gave me escape from my own mind and it gave me my schmexy back ;). The difference in my self-esteem, looks, and attitude shifted. My best friend helped too, she forced me out of the house, and made me remember that feeling beautiful was allowed. She showed me that just because I enjoyed being a woman and all the other things that make me who I am didn’t make me less of a wife or mother.
This genre of books gave me self confidence to embrace intimacy and to celebrate it. I feel sexy again, and I am a better wife and mother for it. When I read, I become the main character, I feel what she feels and it gives me freedom from my own mind of what is acceptable. It is a really great feeling when I look forward to spending time with my husband, we laugh more and have learned new ways to connect. People may not understand why a book gave me that freedom, but it’s almost as though I embraced the characters strength to be honest with myself and my husband about my own wants.
Since Fifty Shades of Grey, I now have over 789 books in my Kindle Account, and I am still clicking that damn 1-Click almost daily! I have come to find so many amazing authors who many never know my story, or know that they touched my heart. Through their courage and imagination, I was able to find happiness in my marriage, which has in turn made me a better mother. In January, my friends and I started a book club, at least 95% of us are married or have children, here is where the blog idea was formed. It was where we are able to express what we felt about the book, and what moved us. I was reading almost a book a day, and someone suggested to start a blog to have a place to tell others about all the books we have read that might touch someone else. Some books affect us more than others, and that is ok. Just because a book didn’t touch me, doesn’t mean it won’t touch you and vice versa. Thank you for reading a little about me, and I hope that you continue to read and share with us what moves you! I truly hope that if you have lost your Schmexy that maybe like me you will get it back!